Days Gone By: Reflections from Carlos Guillén Apezteguia

Carlos Guillén Apezteguia’s poignant documentary photography is an invitation to experience the passage of time through his eyes. A graduate of the Visual Arts program at University of California San Diego, he has spent more than half of his life traversing the San Diego-Tijuana border metropolises, emulsifying emotion onto celluloid. His images are unmistakably diaristic. Each exposure is a looking glass into what he’s feeling at any given time.

The candid photographs contend with his past and forge an empathetic response from the viewer — a shared exchange of sentiment. There’s a stark reality in every print that distills complex sexual experiences and private relationships into digestible relatability. It’s an achievement reminiscent of Nan Goldin and Peter Hujar’s uncompromisingly honest snapshots of queer identity in 1970s - 80s New York City. His past acts as prologue and colors the context of his present and future. Each photograph is a flicker of his human condition and a reflection upon days gone by.

We wanted to take a journey through time with Carlos, so we asked him to reflect on some of the images he’s made over the past three decades.

Rosa (1993)

I shot this image of my sister-in-law in 1993. I love how her polka dot blouse lends a graphic element that contrasts with the pinstriped sheets. Her expression is alert and possibly slightly caught off guard. I'm obsessed with the position of her right hand - I think hands say a lot.

Tijuana (1994)

The energy of the city really shines in this image. Notice the man on the left - how his foot is bent inwards, almost like it's trying to protect him from the wood telephone pole in the center.

Kids I (1997)

Kids are funny, what can I say. Ashely is all grown up now, but she was just my neighbor's kid when I shot it in 1997. She was wearing fake lips, giving me her best glamor pose.

New Year’s Eve (1997)

A bromance moment in 1997, caught on film. It was New Year's Eve and we were all in a mood. I captured some really fun images that night. This is one of them.

Ed (2002)

Ed was my lover for a brief time in 2002, and he agreed to pose nude for me. The nudes turned out amazing, but I really love this picture of Ed's gaze and his handsome face. There's an intimacy there that can't be faked.

Milena (2020)

I like making portraits. I made this portrait of my mother-in-law during the pandemic in 2020, when the whole world was on hold. I love how the light frames her from the left, and gives the whole image a moody glow. It's also a candid moment, and I think her expression communicates strength in a mildly somber way.

Mo (2021)

This is a portrait of my good friend Mo. We were goofing off on a Sunday afternoon and I caught this moment of intensity in between laughs. I like how he started partially undressing for me. Sexy. I think I shot this with my Nikon F and a 50mm lens. Probably Ilford HP5+.

Film Strip (2021)

This is from a series called Film Strip. That's exactly what it is: a sexy man stripping for me while I shoot him on film. To me, this speaks to unadulterated desire.

Kids II (2021)

I was at a concert in Los Angeles with a good friend of mine and his son. The boy is super smart and funny, and he was thrilled to be at his first show at the Greek Theater. This was a spur of the moment shot, and he covered his face at that particular moment. This feels a little Weegee to me. Punchy and spontaneous. Thankfully, no dead bodies.

Bar Scene (2021)

I shot this at the Loft in San Diego. I was having a drink across the bar from this woman. My camera was on the counter and I picked it up and gestured to her. She posed for me briefly and smiled. We didn't exchange any words, but we definitely had a dialogue. I like the grain of the film that I pushed two stops.

Daddy (2022)

Oh, daddy. We get to that age when we can proudly call ourselves "daddy".

Disco Ball (2022)

What can I say, I love disco balls. This was in the middle of the day during San Diego Pride in 2022. The fun thing about Pride is that you can be in a club having a drink at 11 a.m. and then walk outside to the brilliant sunshine and enjoy the parade. I really like the red halo effect around the disco ball here. I think I was shooting Cinestill 400 daylight film.

Wedding II (2023)

This was the dance floor at my friends Gabe and Steve's wedding .There's so much joy in this image. The red dress is amazing. What a moment!

Self Portrait on Film (2023)

Drag Queen (2024)

I was at a leather bar in San Diego when a bus full of drag queens arrived. They were doing some post-convention bar hopping and I started chatting with this queen. I asked if I could snap her picture and she graciously posed for me. I love how the restroom sign has both male and female icons. Fortuitous. I'm also obsessed with her hands.